A no bodys guide by 1312: Tips and tricks I've gathered along the way

A while back, I had the absolute honor of speaking on a fashion panel at my church 🤍 It was such a sweet mix of people, some with an amazing sense of personal style already, and others who were just there to learn and have fun with fashion a little more.

I got to share my top 4 styling tips, and thought… wait, I should share them with you guys toooo!! 👀✨

So here are my top 4, top 4, top 4 (drake reference IYKYK )

Tip #1 Where do I start??? | Normalizing yourself to yourself

Growing up in a predominantly white neighborhood, there weren’t a lot of girls who looked like me, so I turned to TV. America’s Next Top Model, Project Runway… any tall, lanky, “too Black” girl I could find, I clung to. And honestly? Seeing them only fueled my confidence more.

Luckily, I was also raised by beautiful Black women who sat and watched those shows with me and constantly reminded me that I could be that too. And if you didn’t grow up hearing that, let these pages, let 1312, allow me...(Take a deep breath. Relax your shoulders) You can wear whatever you want. You can be whoever you want. Start there.

When I was younger, everything around me looked the same. But now? We have the privilege of seeing every kind of girl online, skinny girls, curvy girls, alt girls, clean girls, sporty girls, soft girls, all of it. And the beauty in the beast of too many options? You don’t have to follow everybody.

Follow people who look like you. Even if you don’t love their style!!

And I know what you’re thinking: “Okay… but then where do I get outfit inspo from?” Respectfully sister… use your brain, queen 😭

We’ve all done it, followed a girl whose outfits we love and almost bought the exact same thing head to toe. But is that your style… or hers?

When you follow people with similar body types, skin tones, features, or proportions, you start learning what actually works for you.

You start noticing:

“These brands fit my body type.”

“Those colors look amazing on her skin tone, so they’ll probably compliment mine too.”

“I love the silhouette of those pants, even if I’d style them differently.”

THAT is how you build personal style. Not by copying outfits bar for bar, but by learning what inspires you and making it your own. That’s where the creativity comes from. And honestly, that’s where the confidence comes from too.

Tip #2 How do I know what will even look good on me fr though?

A big theory I have across all of my work, styling, speaking, singing, literally anything creative I do, is that you have to leave room for creativity you want to cultivate. And sometimes? Creativity looks like sitting with what you already have.

Trying on the clothes already in your closet. Walking around the house in those jeans that are maybe a little too tight. Do the dishes in them. Sit in them. Live in them for a second, then come back to the mirror and ask yourself:

Do I feel comfortable? Do I feel stylish? Do I feel confident?

And if all those answers are no… maybe girl, those just aren’t for you after all 😭

Or maybe your answer is a lot like mine sometimes:“Yes, they’re comfortable… but they’re not stylish and they don’t make me feel confident.”

And THAT, my dear sisters, is the problem. Why can’t we have both?

And does finding both take time? Say it with me now: yesssssss it doessss

And that’s okay. Truly. Building a wardrobe takes patience. It takes time with yourself, your closet, your favorite brands, your body, your confidence.

We want things instantly we all do but that’s not how fashion works. Fashion works because of years of building. Years of inspiration, trial and error, history, references, creativity, confidence.

And one day, your closet becomes that too. A collection of pieces, stories, phases, risks, and little moments that slowly helped you become you. 

Tip #3 How do I make my looks more interesting??

PUT STUFF ON. TRY LOTS OF STUFF!!!

Seriously. Wear the thing.

Let yourself be creative. Let yourself experiment. Let yourself go through phases. That's part of discovering your personal style.

I feel like my TikTok FYP is constantly telling me not to buy into trends, to ONLY shop sustainably, to reject all else and honestly... I get it. Sustainability matters. Anti-consumerism matters!!! Being mindful of what we buy absolutely matters. Our culture is built around convincing us we always need the next best thing, and I don't want to contribute to that mindset.

But here's my question:

How are you supposed to know if you're a crop top person... if you've never worn one?

How will you know if barrel-leg pants make you feel amazing?

Or if cowboy boots suddenly become your signature?

Sometimes, trying something new is part of finding yourself. I'm not saying go on a shopping spree or buy every trend that pops up on your For You Page. That's not the point.

I'm saying it's okay to buy one little something. It's okay to experiment. It's okay to realize, "Yep, this isn't me," or "Wait... I actually love this." Style isn't something you're born knowing. It's something you discover.

Your wardrobe should evolve because you evolve. You'll have phases, you'll outgrow things, you'll surprise yourself. That's not being "bad" at fashion, that's the whole point of fashion. So wear the weird pants. Try the boots. Put on the crop top. The worst thing that happens is you donate it. The best thing that happens is you discover a version of yourself you never would have found if you were too afraid to try.

Confidence over Comfort

No, let's talk about it.

As someone whose weight fluctuates, I get it. Some days my jeans fit perfectly, and other days I can't even imagine putting on "hard pants." There are days when I feel uncomfortable in my own body, and all I want to do is throw on the same oversized sweatpants I've worn all week. I understand that feeling completely.

But what if we tried something different? We're living in an era where fashion is more accessible than ever, and thankfully, brands are making really cool pieces that bridge the gap between comfort and style. We have elevated sweat sets, incredible Adidas and Nike collaborations, drawstring trousers, stretchy tailored pants, there are so many options that don't require sacrificing comfort.

When you're building your wardrobe, you also have to be honest with yourself. Girl, you know you're probably not reaching for those stiff pinstripe barrel trousers to sit at your remote job. Let's be realistic.

What I'm saying is: let's find the balance.

The same goes for blazers, collared shirts, dresses, everything. Your wardrobe shouldn't be all one thing or the other. It should work for your real life. And I'd love to help you build that. So when I say "confidence over comfort," what I really mean is confidence through balance. Let's find styles, silhouettes, and fits that make you feel physically comfortable while also making you feel like the most confident version of yourself.

Sometimes confidence lives just outside your comfort zone. Maybe it's trying a new silhouette, wearing a color you wouldn't normally pick, or swapping the old sweatpants for a pair of drawstring trousers that feel just as comfortable but make you stand a little taller. The goal isn't to dress for someone else. The goal is to build a wardrobe that makes you feel good, comfortable enough to live your life, and confident enough to fully show up in it.

Conclusion

Now go get dressed, have fun with it, and remember at the end of the day, do whatever you want. Be as whimsical as you want. Wear the loud outfit. Wear the simple outfit. Wear the sparkles. Wear the sweatpants. Wear what makes you feel like you. over and out signed and absolute no body by 1312.